Russia

From Heterodontosaurus Balls

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Russia, officially the Russian Federation, is a Slavic transcontinental nation in Europe and Asia. He is the largest country in the world, having 11 timezones without the help of oversees territories. Most of his land is a cold and vast place called Siberia, which is very rich in resources like oil, gas and minerals.

Russia has a harsh and strong personality, which is one of the reasons why he likes to bully his neighbors. Because of that, a lot of other countries dislike him. Russia also drinks way too much vodka, so he is usually drunk. Russia is also known for his authoritarian personally. He does have elections, but all the opponents who even have a tiny chance against Putin are arrested, making sure Putin stays in power until the end of time.

Russia often accuses NATO of stealing his friends, while in reality it was pretty much the opposite: Russia's "friends" wanted to get away from him and offered to join NATO themselves.

История (History)[edit | edit source]

Early Russian Federation[edit | edit source]

Main article: Russian Federation (1991-1993)

In 1991, the Soviet Union officially dissolves and the RSFSR declares itself as the Russian Federation. Boris Yeltsin becomes president, and embarks radical economic reforms, attempting a swift transition to a market economy. But this fails and caused hyperinflation and widespread poverty.

Wars, Wars and more Wars[edit | edit source]

Chechnya, a region within Russia, wanted to follow democracy and proclaimed his independence as the Chechen Republic of Ichkeria. Soon afterwards Russian tanks started to roll in and massacre the civilians by the thousands. This ignited a protracted conflict that spanned several years and resulted in a staggering number of casualties. Ultimately, the conflict concluded with a victory for Russia. In 1999, amidst ongoing challenges and controversies, Yeltsin resigned from the presidency, paving the way for Vladimir Putin to assume the leadership of Russia.

In 2008, Russia levied false accusations of genocide against Georgia, leading to a military incursion. The ensuing conflict concluded with a victory for Russia, which subsequently recognized the independence of two breakaway territories within Georgia, Abkhazia and South Ossetia.

In 2014, the issue of the “peanut hole” in Russia’s waters was solved. You see, the United Nations declared that all waters 200 nautical miles away from a country’s shore belongs to the country. Russia had a peninsula where there was a “hole” inside Russian waters because of the 200 miles rule. Many Panamanian, Japanese, Ukrainian, and Bulgarian fishers rushed to fish and almost drove Russia’s fishing industry to extinction. The peanut hole was closed when countries agreed to stop fishers from going there and in 2014 the hole was declared as Russian waters.

Also in 2014, Russia controversially annexed Crimea from Ukraine, defying international condemnation from the vast majority of countries worldwide. This action sparked significant geopolitical tensions and repercussions. Furthermore, in a move that further escalated tensions, Russia launched another military intervention in Ukraine in 2022. Russia also accused Ukraine of being infected by Nazis, and claims that he is just "cleansing" Ukraine. As of June 2024, this conflict remains ongoing. Also Russia uses ℤ as a military symbol and really likes the ℤ.

Отношения (Relations)[edit | edit source]

Друзья (Friends)[edit | edit source]

Враги (Enemies)[edit | edit source]

  • США - GET YOUR INFLUENCE OUT OF EUROPE!!!
  • Грузия - YUO ARE GENOCIDER!!!
  • Украина - Crimea is MINE! YUO ARE GENOCIDER AND NEO-NAZI!!!
  • НАТО - YOU OH YOU WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN… YOU STEAL MY FRIENDS AND TURN THEM AGAINST ME, YOU SANCTION ME FOR DE-NAZIFIYING UKRAINE, YOU TRY EVERYTHING TO GET RID OF ME! YOUR WHOLE EXISTENCE IS TO HATE ON ME! OH HOW MUCH I WANT TO DESTROY YOU…

Пустяки (Trivia)[edit | edit source]

  • Russia is bigger than Pluto.
  • Russia has land borders with 14 countries (not including Abkhazia and South Ossetia).
  • In the Russian language, the native name of the country (Rossiya) is a feminine noun. This explain why Mother Russia, the national personification of Russia, is a woman.
  • In Russia beer has only been classified as an alcoholic beverage in 2011, when a bill for reclassification was passed by parliament and actually entered into force in 2013. Before, it was a “food item”, treated like a soft drink.
  • Russia's national anthem has the same instrumental to that of the Soviet Union, with the difference being the lyrics.
  • In memes, he is usually riding a bear.

Как нарисовать (How to draw)[edit | edit source]

Flag of Russia
  1. Draw a ball.
  2. Fill it with three horizontal stripes of these three colours in order from top to bottom: white, blue, red.
  3. Draw the eyes and yuo aer finish!
  4. Add an Ushanka and/or a bottle of vodka (optional)
  5. Add a “Z” somewhere on the ball/accessories (optional)
Color Name HEX
White #FFFFFF
Blue #0032A0
Red #D00B0E

Информационная галерея (Informational Gallery)[edit | edit source]

Галерея (Gallery)[edit | edit source]

Варианты (Variants)[edit | edit source]