Russia

From Heterodontosaurus Balls

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion.
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Russia, officially the Russian Federation, is a Slavic transcontinental nation in Europe and Asia. He is the largest country in the world, having 11 timezones without the help of oversees territories. Most of his land is a cold and vast place called Siberia, which is very rich in resources like oil, gas and minerals.

Russia has a harsh and strong personality, which is one of the reasons why he likes to bully his neighbors. Because of that, a lot of other countries dislike him. Russia also drinks way too much vodka, so he is usually drunk (especially gets drunk on his truck and unintentionally injured a lot of his neighbors (joke)). Russia is also known for his authoritarian personally. He does have elections, but all the opponents who even have a tiny chance against Putin are arrested, making sure Putin stays in power until the end of time.

Russia often accuses NATO of stealing his friends, while in reality it was pretty much the opposite: Russia's "friends" wanted to get away from him and offered to join NATO themselves.

История (History)

Early Russian Federation

Main article: Russian Federation (1991-1993)

In 1991, the Soviet Union officially dissolves and the RSFSR declares itself as the Russian Federation. Boris Yeltsin becomes president, and embarks radical economic reforms, attempting a swift transition to a market economy. But this fails and caused hyperinflation and widespread poverty.

Since abandoning communism, Russia carried out both economic and political reforms at the same time. After experiencing a short period of agony in the 1990s, he entered a period of rapid development. From 1999 to 2003, Russia's GDP increased by a total of 29.9 percent. The living standard of his citizens improved significantly.

Western business circles began not only to discuss the "Russian economic phenomenon," but also started investing in Russia, the new hotspot, on a large scale. Russia's ranking among the most attractive nations for investment jumped from seventeenth in 2002 to eighth in 2003, becoming one of the world's top ten most popular nations for investment.

Wars, Wars and more Wars

Chechnya, a region within Russia, wanted to follow democracy and proclaimed his independence as the Chechen Republic of Ichkeria. Soon afterwards Russian tanks started to roll in and massacre the civilians by the thousands. This ignited a protracted conflict that spanned several years and resulted in a staggering number of casualties. Ultimately, the conflict concluded with a victory for Russia. In 1999, amidst ongoing challenges and controversies, Yeltsin resigned from the presidency, paving the way for Vladimir Putin to assume the leadership of Russia.

In 2008, Russia levied false accusations of genocide against Georgia, leading to a military incursion. The ensuing conflict concluded with a victory for Russia, which subsequently recognized the independence of two breakaway territories within Georgia, Abkhazia and South Ossetia.

In 2014, the issue of the “peanut hole” in Russia’s waters was solved. You see, the United Nations declared that all waters 200 nautical miles away from a country’s shore belongs to the country. Russia had a peninsula where there was a “hole” inside Russian waters because of the 200 miles rule. Many Panamanian, Japanese, Ukrainian, and Bulgarian fishers rushed to fish and almost drove Russia’s fishing industry to extinction. The peanut hole was closed when countries agreed to stop fishers from going there and in 2014 the hole was declared as Russian waters.

Also in 2014, Russia controversially annexed Crimea from Ukraine, defying international condemnation from the vast majority of countries worldwide. This action sparked significant geopolitical tensions and repercussions. Russia also attempted to make various puppet states in Ukraine. Furthermore, in a move that further escalated tensions, Russia launched another military intervention in Ukraine in 2022. Russia also accused Ukraine of being infected by Nazis, and claims that he is just "cleansing" Ukraine. On September 14 2024, Russia and Ukraine exchanged 103 prisoners each. In October 2024, Russia banned Discord. As of November 2024, this conflict remains ongoing. Russia uses ℤ as a military symbol and really likes the ℤ. Russia has also sued Google for 2.5 decillion dollars ($2,500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000) because they took down several Russian media accounts due to sanctions.

In December 2024, the Russian bases in Syria are in high alert and ready to evacuate, since the rebels have taken control of the country. Also in 2024, Russia’s coal economy and industry took a pretty big hit, and Russian coal exports decreased.

Экономика (Economy)

Russia has a mixed market economy, which emerged after a challenging transition from the Soviet planned system in the 1990s. A significant portion of the nation's economic activity revolves around its rich and diverse natural resources, especially oil and natural gas.

Русские болельщики на YouTube (Russian Supporters on YouTube)

On YouTube, Russian supporters will call anything that criticizes Russia “Western propaganda” or “American propaganda”, despite sometimes not being associated with the West at all. But this can be gone vise versa too, as a bunch of terminally online Ukrainian supporters started harassing an actor that lived in Germany since she was thirteen, only because she was from Russia.

Отношения (Relations)

Друзья (Friends)

Нейтральный (Neutral)

  • Сибирь - Hohoho, your natural resources are all mine. Don’t think of rebelling, you know what happened to him

Враги (Enemies)

  • США - GET YOUR INFLUENCE OUT OF EUROPE!!!
  • Грузия - YUO ARE GENOCIDER!!! South Ossetia AND Abkhazia DESERVE TO GAIN INDEPENDENT! And their totally not Russian-infiltrated! ♫ We shall reclaim the Georgian soil, we shall obtain the arctic oil… ♫
  • Украина - Crimea is MINE! YUO ARE GENOCIDER AND NEO-NAZI!!!
  • НАТО - YOU OH YOU WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN… YOU STEAL MY FRIENDS AND TURN THEM AGAINST ME, YOU SANCTION ME FOR DE-NAZIFIYING UKRAINE, YOU TRY EVERYTHING TO GET RID OF ME! YOUR WHOLE EXISTENCE IS TO HATE ON ME! OH HOW MUCH I WANT TO DESTROY YOU…
  • Евросоюз - Why won’t you let me in? European Union? More like… uh… NAZI UNION! STOP GIVING HIM AID!
  • Германия - Oh, stop telling me to not invade this little guy.
  • Аляска - Should have never sold you to American, now he can see my house from here.

Пустяки (Trivia)

  • Russia is bigger than Pluto.
  • Russia has land borders with 14 countries (not including Abkhazia and South Ossetia).
  • In the Russian language, the native name of the country (Rossiya) is a feminine noun. This explain why Mother Russia, the national personification of Russia, is a woman.
  • In Russia beer has only been classified as an alcoholic beverage in 2011, when a bill for reclassification was passed by parliament and actually entered into force in 2013. Before, it was a “food item”, treated like a soft drink.
  • Russia's national anthem has the same instrumental to that of the Soviet Union, with the difference being the lyrics.
  • In memes, he is usually riding a bear.

Список президентов (List of Presidents)

Presidents of the Russian Federation
Name Number In Office
Boris Yeltsin 1 1991-1999
Vladimir Putin 2 2000-2008
Dmitry Medvedev 3 2008-2012
Vladimir Putin 4 2012-

Как нарисовать (How to draw)

Flag of Russia

Russia has a drawing rating of easy.

  1. Draw a ball.
  2. Fill it with three horizontal stripes of these three colours in order from top to bottom: white, blue, red.
  3. Draw the eyes and yuo aer finish!
  4. Add an Ushanka and/or a bottle of vodka (optional)
  5. Add a “Z” somewhere on the ball/accessories (optional)
Color Name HEX
White #FFFFFF
Blue #0032A0
Red #D00B0E

Галерея (Gallery)

Варианты (Variants)